[x]

Carry onShe can hit me,
but I won't cry out.
I'm too numb to fight,
too tired to shout.

I just want to rest.
To stop all the tears.
I'm tired of trying.
Exhausted by all these years.

Leave me alone.
I'm nothing anymore.
Just an empty shell,
That's not worth crying for.

Don't call my name.
I don't exist.
She's weathered me away.
With word and fist.

I'll stop now.
You don't care.
I'm just a girl.
Caught in suicide's snare.

From now on,
I won't speak,
I won't try.
I won't be a freak.

I'll just fade.
slowly, till I'm gone.
So I won't be a bother.
So your life can carry on.

1Go on,
Go.
I won't be your freak show.
It's not "funny,"
It's not "cool."
I'm just a girl,
Who didn't know you were so cruel.
I made a mistake,
I'm sorry to say.
I paid for my mistake,
Very dearly today.
You took who I was,
And you tore up my heart.
I'm broken and bent,
I'm falling apart.
The roof of my home,
Has just caved in.
It looks like you did it.
I guess you win

Dear MomCrazed movements
a bloodshot eye
Drunk words
and another goodbye:
so you left me alone
In your mental state
A lost little brother
with a mother to hate?
You shout at me
for the things you have done
You have left me neglected
And also your son
You have broken a promise
And you have ruined your life
You're just a woman without children
All alone in her strife

Farewell to MeI search for the light,
but find only death,
can't find a way out,
can't catch my breath.

Will anyone come to help,
save me from this place?
No. No one will come.
I don't deserve their grace.

I will sit in misery,
drowning with each tear.
Day after day.
Year after year.

I used to hope,
think someone would help,
take me from here,
and I'd find myself.

But this is my fate.
I'll never be free.
This is my end,
my farewell to me.

My MonstersI can't breathe.
It's too tight.
I hear so many things,
can't trust my sight.

The monsters surround.
No, they're not really here.
They reach out to grab me.
They smell my fear.

Have I finally lost my mind?
Am I totally insane?
Is this all in my head?
Is it just a sick game?

Or are they really there?
Do they smile as I scream?
Do they laugh at my tears?
Please, let this be a dream.

But it's not a dream.
I can't get out.
A hand surrounds my neck,
no air to shout.

Tears stream freely.
They start to close in.
I pray to god to help me,
to forgive all my sin.

The world starts to fade.
I can no longer see.
I smile in bliss.
I'm finally free.

Are you blind?Are you blind to my misery,
Or do you choose not to look?
I want to share my story,
But you close me like a book.

I'm screaming as I cry,
But you refuse to hear.
Look away as I die,
Ignore each little tear.

Am I not loud enough?
Is that why you ignore my scream?
My life is tough,
Help me escape this bad dream.

I scream a bit higher.
Please, I need your help!
My circumstances are dire.
I'm losing myself.

But you do not help me,
And I've decided to give up.
Maybe then you'll see.
Ha! That's just my luck.

I am weakI am weak because
I can't swim,
I can't fly.
I can't speak.
Because I am afraid of the
outside world.
I am weak because
I cry,
I let my emotions in my way,
I don't stand up,
I just die.
I am weak because,
when I was called a
dumb birthday slut,
I just cried.
Because when I was bullied,
I just kept silent.
When I was thought of
having a disease,
suicide was my only thought.
But at the end I realised
that I am not weak,
I am strong.
I was strong enough to
not commit suicide,
to blossom from my cuts,
to speak for my own.
Because I was strong enough
to realise that no matter
what,
I will always be weak.
PandoraMichaelis

Reflection(2012)She found the word that sounds just right,
Hypergraphia, an overwhelming urge to write.
A thing in common of Van Gogh and Carroll,
two who are her inspiration and idol.
This similarity, though not as severe,
for she's not alone as it was to appear.

You don't know me,
though you think you do.
You're trying to be free,
if only you knew.

Words preserved,
respect deserved.
Silence present,
though no discontent.

The mystery of a diary,
reveals the hidden vocabulary
from an unknown lover gone shy
with the innermost wants to die.

Hide away your deepest desires,
protect them with burning fires.
Every day continue to grow
and stro

Paper AngelShe is an angel, she can never die.
She has wings but he can't fly.
Doomed to be trapped forever
In her blank world made of paper.

She longs to be free,
In her monochromatic eyes, you can see.
She dreams of freedom,she dreams of love
And all the other things she can never have.

Sleep...So here I am again
Down and depressed
Don’t know what to do
I just want to go to sleep

Scabs and scars on my wrist
Knife trembling in my hand
A wavering heart that I call mine
I want to cry my eyes out
But I can’t, don’t know why
Now all I want to do is sleep

I have it all
Except self-esteem
I’m just useless, common girl
Not extraordinary in anything
Just a faker, liar, hater
With someone always better
And all I want to do is sleep

Failing at everything important
Can’t keep up with everything
Tired of all the stress
I guess I’m not that smart after all
Why can’t I just go to sleep

I’m

Valentine's DayI hate the world today
The birds
The bees
The trees

I hate it all

I hate the people today
Their smiles
Their words
Their stares

I hate them all

You stole away my life
My youth
My soul
My innocence

You stole it all

You stole away my smile
My joy
My laughter
My happiness

You stole them all

I will never forgive you
Not now
Not then
Not ever

You are not forgiven

I can’t forgive you
Too sorry
Too angry
Too weak

You can’t be forgiven

You didn't dare.She smiled,
but it was fake.
She laughed,
but she's about to break.

She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.

This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.

What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.

Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.

Truest HomeI took my mask off,
showed my true face,
but you threw it back at me,
called me a disgrace.

No one wants to see.
No one wants to hear
about my hopes and dreams,
my memories and fear.

They'd rather I stayed quiet,
shy and in my place,
but I can't stay behind.
I want to run the race.

"No!" They cry.
Stay where you belong.
No one wants to hear
your misery song.

So crawl back in the dark,
with your monsters and fear.
Sit there quietly,
year after year.

Never going to get out,
never going to get free.
This is where I belong.
This is the truest home for me.

Cold HeartedI'm tearing them down,
Piece by piece.
Let the walls fall,
Let the pain increase.

I stare my pain in the face,
Let it rip me a part.
Show what I've always feared,
In the depths of my cold heart.

I review my lack of care,
All the people that I've hurt.
When did I become so cold?
When did loved ones turn to dirt?

What happened to me?
Once so loving and kind.
When did it get so bad?
Did I suddenly lose my mind?

I want to trust again,
To love and to care,
But is the risk to high?
Is the cost of pain fair?

I realize that it's not.
I'm safe within my walls.
So much better to be cold,
Then to get hurt in the fall.

Why Do You Do This?Why do you do all of this
You stain your wrists
You cry all the damn time
You slip when you try to climb

You're in all this pain
Putting that blade to a vein
You dig it in, but not too deep
For now, that price is too steep

But will the day eventually come
A day when you are so very numb
That the price isn't too high
And you give up the will to try

God forbid that day should arrive
I want you to be happy and alive
Yet I freak out when you aren't there
Don't make me feel loss and despair

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TightropeI don't look down,
don't look back,
ignore the chills
all down my back.

I can feel their arms,
steady at my sides,
my truest hopes,
my loving guides.

They keep me on track,
no need for fear.
I've got them for comfort,
my friends so dear.

But sometimes one fades,
their arms tired and annoyed,
and I'll start to slip,
my balance destroyed.

I need them both,
or surely I'll go,
down down down,
ruining the show.

As long as I have them,
I'll keep going on,
until I figure this out,
until the tightrope is gone.

With YouHold me tight,
Please don't go.
I'm falling apart,
falling down so low.

Like a rag doll I'm tearing,
seams falling apart.
I can't sew them back up,
wouldn't know where to start.

I need your help,
but I'm too scared to say,
too scared to reach out,
tell you to stay.

You're my only hope,
like it or not.
My chances are slim,
but I'll give it a shot.

So hold me up,
don't let me fall,
just tell me it's okay,
answer my call.

That's all you need to do,
and I'll be alright.
With you by my side,
I'll stand up and fight.

Adventure TimeOnly thirteen,
so is she,
pretty as a flower,
a flame burning free.

Only thirteen,
but she is not,
sweet as candy,
She's sticky and I'm caught.

A choice to make,
and difficult too.
Settle for what's easy,
or fight for love so true?

On top of that there's her.
She's different and dark,
with a soul of ice,
and teeth like a shark.

Who will be mine?
The one of fire,
so beautiful and free,
awakening desire?

Or will it be her,
candy so sweet,
and knowledge so vast,
makes my heart beat fast.

Maybe the dark one,
with the adventure of her own,
but she's cold and guarded,
loves never been shown.

Maybe it won't be any,
forever me and Jake,
in lov

What's Right.There once was a boy,
there once was a girl.
He loved the girl dearly,
and the boy was her world.

The boy was kind,
and would be there to stay,
but the girl was broken.
She yearned to fly away.

The boy wouldn't let go,
he was determined to fix her,
but there was no secret,
no miracle cure.

She simply had to go,
set herself free.
This was the answer,
the only true key.

He wouldn't give up,
so she had to shove.
It was all in good interest,
all because of love.

But the boy was so patient,
so determined and kind,
he wouldn't give up.
She made up her mind.

There would be one last push,
one last try
before she had to give up,
let herself die.

MeMy name is unloved,
hopeless,
and haunted.

I live in hell,
cowering away,
curled up in my shell.

I dream of death,
escaping this place
by ceasing my breath.

This is me,
crying in despair,
wishing to be free.

Will I ever know joy,
or will I stay here forever,
your broken little toy?

Not Good EnoughNot good enough for me,
not good enough for you,
maybe all the insults
are simply what's true.

What can I say?
Nothing, I'm done,
so sick and tired
of having to run.

So this is the end,
the last puzzle piece,
the very last straw,
the pain will soon cease.

I won't have to struggle.
There will be no pain,
and everyone's lives
will go on quite the same.

Because I am just me.
The greatest disappointment of all.
So say good-bye,
as I start my free fall.

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The voice called him

by ~lostmyslef, Jan 30, 2013, 7:32:22 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Concrete Poetry

I feel so cold,
so alone.
As she lashes out again,
A sharpness in her tone.

Why won't someone help?
My ears begin to ring.
I can't cry anymore.
The words lose their sting.

I know I am nothing.
I don't need her to say so.
I already want to leave.
I'm fighting the urge to go.

She can't hurt me.
The strongest hate is within.
The voice that loves to torture.
The voice I call "him"

He tells me to die,
that no one wants me here.
I know that he's right.
I shed another tear.

I'd leave but I'm afraid.
Afraid to go to hell.
So I listen to him,
and curl up in my shell.

The voice called himby ~lostmyslef

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Concrete Poetry

Please don't call me crazy, I already know that I am. This is a poem about my mom and how much she wants to hurt me, but it is nothing compared to the hurt that he does to my psyche.

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

`MagicalJoey Jan 31, 2013 Writer

Lean on your friends - that's what they are there for.

=clarissabelle Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I'm not going to say I can relate because that won't help. What I'm going to say is this, listen to my voice. I'm your best friend. What could go wrong? (Except ya know, you may find yourself with a few more clients than usual...)

~lostmyslef Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Lol I'll try to remember that.

=clarissabelle Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

You do that.

~IvoryBeastofWinter Jan 30, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I know that voice all too well, and the words of others feed him. He delights in the sting, savoring the bitter taste of the tears that are shed. I know because I hear him too. But the voice is not stronger than you - never forget that.

~lostmyslef Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I'll try

~Dezzydo Jan 30, 2013 Student Writer

Sweet heart i understand what you going through and i am sorry ..but my dear stay strong

you are a wonderful poet

~lostmyslef Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you! I'm doing my best

~Dezzydo Jan 31, 2013 Student Writer

And that is what counts is if you try your best...oh and if you need to talk just note me

~lostmyslef Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

will do!

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