[x]

My MaskI put my mask on.
Time to face the day.
Time to plaster on a smile.
Time to pretend it's okay.

I want to crawl in bed.
Leave the world behind.
You're too ugly to go out,
whispers my mind.

I know I am,
I stifle a cry.
I want to leave,
I want to die.

My mask is done,
and I have to go.
Time to face the people.
Time to put on my show.

Are you blind?Are you blind to my misery,
Or do you choose not to look?
I want to share my story,
But you close me like a book.

I'm screaming as I cry,
But you refuse to hear.
Look away as I die,
Ignore each little tear.

Am I not loud enough?
Is that why you ignore my scream?
My life is tough,
Help me escape this bad dream.

I scream a bit higher.
Please, I need your help!
My circumstances are dire.
I'm losing myself.

But you do not help me,
And I've decided to give up.
Maybe then you'll see.
Ha! That's just my luck.

I Met MeToday I met a girl,
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."

Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.

"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.

Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."

Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.

"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."

What?
How in

Cold HeartedI'm tearing them down,
Piece by piece.
Let the walls fall,
Let the pain increase.

I stare my pain in the face,
Let it rip me a part.
Show what I've always feared,
In the depths of my cold heart.

I review my lack of care,
All the people that I've hurt.
When did I become so cold?
When did loved ones turn to dirt?

What happened to me?
Once so loving and kind.
When did it get so bad?
Did I suddenly lose my mind?

I want to trust again,
To love and to care,
But is the risk to high?
Is the cost of pain fair?

I realize that it's not.
I'm safe within my walls.
So much better to be cold,
Then to get hurt in the fall.

Farewell to MeI search for the light,
but find only death,
can't find a way out,
can't catch my breath.

Will anyone come to help,
save me from this place?
No. No one will come.
I don't deserve their grace.

I will sit in misery,
drowning with each tear.
Day after day.
Year after year.

I used to hope,
think someone would help,
take me from here,
and I'd find myself.

But this is my fate.
I'll never be free.
This is my end,
my farewell to me.

My smileMy smile was once so easy,
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.

I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.

I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.

Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?

Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.

Why?Why do I speak
when everyone would prefer quiet?
Why do I show my face
when everyone finds it appalling?
Why do I try
when everyone finds annoyance?
Why do I live
if everyone wants me dead?
I speak
so I can spread God's word.
I show my face
because God loves the sight.
I try hard
because God wills me to.
I live
because God gave me the gift to.

My Soul to KeepHeart beats fast,
fingers tapping,
nerves are stretching,
so close to snapping.

Try to calm down.
Take a deep breath,
feel so weak,
so close to death.

Nervously shaking,
and the clock's ticking slow.
When will it be over?
When's my time to go?

Can't wait,
about to break.
God, I'm here,
my soul to take.

Take it now.
I'm really done,
tired of fighting,
don't want to run.

I just want to rest,
just want to sleep,
take me forever,
my soul to keep.

House of MirrorsThey say I spin
a web of lies,
but webs are for spiders.
They catch their flies.

No, my lies are mirrors,
each a different reflection.
They fill up my house,
my sinful collection.

Sometimes I get lost.
There's so much confusion.
Which ones are real?
Which are illusions?

I try to back track,
but the mirrors turn me around.
I cry out for help,
but the mirrors block the sound.

I give up.
Hang another mirror.
In this one I'm cruel and cold
on the exterior.

How many reflections
will I become?
Which one is real?
Where have I gone?

My MonstersI can't breathe.
It's too tight.
I hear so many things,
can't trust my sight.

The monsters surround.
No, they're not really here.
They reach out to grab me.
They smell my fear.

Have I finally lost my mind?
Am I totally insane?
Is this all in my head?
Is it just a sick game?

Or are they really there?
Do they smile as I scream?
Do they laugh at my tears?
Please, let this be a dream.

But it's not a dream.
I can't get out.
A hand surrounds my neck,
no air to shout.

Tears stream freely.
They start to close in.
I pray to god to help me,
to forgive all my sin.

The world starts to fade.
I can no longer see.
I smile in bliss.
I'm finally free.

Screamed NoYou said no,
but he said yes.

How were you to know
what would happen next?

How could you know
that he'd push you down?

How could you know
you'd hit the ground?

How could you know
he'd rip off your shirt?

Tossed it away,
covered in dirt.

You didn't know
he'd have you pinned.

Because how could you know
that this would happen?

That your shirt would come off,
jeans un-zip.

That your heart would falter
with the rhythm of his hips.

That you would scream no,
as he groaned yes.

My voice?I tried to smile,
laugh through the pain,
but it's been a while,
I think I'm insane.

I can't hear my own voice.
The one that says what I want.
Now I have no choice.
You never did, it taunts.

It tells me what I should say.
It tells me who I am.
It tells me everyday.
Am I the lion or the lamb?

Am I as weak as I feel,
or as strong as I pretend?
Am I cold and hard as steel,
or just waiting for it to end?

Who am I?
Do I really want to know?
I end with a sigh.
The voice is telling me to go.

Truest HomeI took my mask off,
showed my true face,
but you threw it back at me,
called me a disgrace.

No one wants to see.
No one wants to hear
about my hopes and dreams,
my memories and fear.

They'd rather I stayed quiet,
shy and in my place,
but I can't stay behind.
I want to run the race.

"No!" They cry.
Stay where you belong.
No one wants to hear
your misery song.

So crawl back in the dark,
with your monsters and fear.
Sit there quietly,
year after year.

Never going to get out,
never going to get free.
This is where I belong.
This is the truest home for me.

My SongThe music swirls all around,
till all I hear is the joyous sound,
twirling, spinning, moving me,
and the endless notes are all I see.

The beat becomes my hearts own.
I feel as though the light has shown,
and all the sadness fades away,
and I finally see a happier day.

My lips part, and I sing along
To such a redeeming, beautiful song.
These moments come and go too fast.
I enjoy them greatly as they last.

I laugh in glee.
I feel so free.
What magic is this,
this utter bliss?

Stay with me, my pretty song,
with you the days don't seem so long.
With you I am so filled with hope,
I know with you, somehow I'll cope.

Together we'll stay.
You'll

1Go on,
Go.
I won't be your freak show.
It's not "funny,"
It's not "cool."
I'm just a girl,
Who didn't know you were so cruel.
I made a mistake,
I'm sorry to say.
I paid for my mistake,
Very dearly today.
You took who I was,
And you tore up my heart.
I'm broken and bent,
I'm falling apart.
The roof of my home,
Has just caved in.
It looks like you did it.
I guess you win

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More from ~lostmyslef

Sweet sweet DreamMy days are dark,
filled with fear.
They have been this way.
Year after year.

Since the day he came,
and took her with him.
The innocent me that was.
so now my days are grim.

I can find no hope,
it is gone.
I hide myself away.
I'll never see the sun.

Don't look for me.
I'm hidden away.
I won't come out,
won't see another day.

I like it like this.
I can't be seen.
It's a beautiful nightmare,
a sweet sweet dream.

My MaskI put my mask on.
Time to face the day.
Time to plaster on a smile.
Time to pretend it's okay.

I want to crawl in bed.
Leave the world behind.
You're too ugly to go out,
whispers my mind.

I know I am,
I stifle a cry.
I want to leave,
I want to die.

My mask is done,
and I have to go.
Time to face the people.
Time to put on my show.

Carry onShe can hit me,
but I won't cry out.
I'm too numb to fight,
too tired to shout.

I just want to rest.
To stop all the tears.
I'm tired of trying.
Exhausted by all these years.

Leave me alone.
I'm nothing anymore.
Just an empty shell,
That's not worth crying for.

Don't call my name.
I don't exist.
She's weathered me away.
With word and fist.

I'll stop now.
You don't care.
I'm just a girl.
Caught in suicide's snare.

From now on,
I won't speak,
I won't try.
I won't be a freak.

I'll just fade.
slowly, till I'm gone.
So I won't be a bother.
So your life can carry on.

The DarknessThe darkness grabs,
it holds on tight.
I try to evade,
but I can't find the light.

Let me go!
I want to live,
but it does not tire.
It does not give.

I'm fading away,
can't find myself.
Someone, please!
Anyone, help.

But no one hears my cry.
The darkness smiles in glee.
As I've lost myself all together.
I will never be free.

Don'tDon't tell me I'm beautiful.
When i feel disgusting.
Don't Tell me I'm lovely.
When my heart is rusting.

Don't talk to me.
I'm not worth it.
Don't encourage me.
Just let me quit.

Don't touch me.
I'm poison.
Don't wish for me.
I'm a prison.

Don't stay,
Please run.
I'm telling you.
Life with me is no fun.

GrassesThe grass is green
On neither side.
Both are yellowed.
I try to hide.

But they fight for me.
They scream and shout.
I search and fight,
Fight for a way out.

But the grasses surround.
I can't be free.
Let me go!
Is death the key?

Will i find escape,
In pills or a knife?
Or will they bring me back?
My efforts ending in strife.

It's worth a shot.
I'll do anything to be free.
I don't want to live like this.
I'm putting an end to me.

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Submitted: January 28
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You didn't dare.

by ~lostmyslef, Jan 28, 2013, 1:49:24 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Concrete Poetry

She smiled,
but it was fake.
She laughed,
but she's about to break.

She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.

This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.

What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.

Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.

You didn't dare.by ~lostmyslef

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Concrete Poetry

©2013 ~lostmyslef

Sorry, I wrote this at school today, all over my hand, and I don't think it's all that great, but I figured, what the heck? I need to get the message out that if you see someone like me, who's dying inside, and is fighting everyday just to smile, don't ignore it, try to help.

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~chainedheart977 Mar 12, 2013

Take a look if you want [link] (The link is a poem a wrote close to the subject)
Below it is a lot of words about what I think on the subject.
( I wish people could just get along, then things like this wouldn't happen. )

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Mood: Sadness

~Lynn-10397 Mar 10, 2013 New member

Thats so sad

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~lostmyslef Mar 11, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

it's meant to be. <- that sounds snippy but it's not supposed to....

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~TheVibeke Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

This lovely deviation has been featured here: [link]

Have an amazing day!

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~lostmyslef Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

O wow! Thank you so much!!!!

Reply

~TheVibeke Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

No problem dear!

Reply

=clarissabelle Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Hey, out of curiosity, what did those comments you hid say?

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~lostmyslef Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

o i accidentally sent the same message 4 times because my phone's retarded

Reply

=clarissabelle Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

......idiot.

Reply

~CoyoteDove Jan 30, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I completely agree, I'm like you, If I see others I help, because I know how it feels. I don't care what others say, a friend in need is my friend indeed.

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